why do i always have to feel that i am wrong and i falling short of everybody elses' expectations? all my life, i've been struggling to prove myself to people: friends, family, everybody. no matter what i do, and no matter how hard i try...i still fail.

sometimes i just wish that i wasn't born at all. when i came, i put lives in a big mess. growing up, i put people into big trouble and made them sacrifice a lot...and now, i'm still that same old pain-in-the-ass nonsense creature.

i can't seem to make anything that will make people happy nor proud of me. well, sometimes i do...but the aftermath would be a lot more devastating and frustrating. it's as if i never did anything right in my entire existence. i can't make sound decisions...i can't make feasible plans and worst, i can't even make my own life right.

i am tired. i wish i can just say "enough" and leave. but geesh, if i do that...i'd still be the one to blame.

what to do?