I am TIRED...

...of being so scared of being alone.

...of trying too hard to please everybody and still ending up disappointed when they don't even appreciate.

...of being invisible and taken for granted.

...of believing in promises that will just end up being broken.

...of falling for someone who promised me to be always there for me but would still leave me all alone as if nothing happened.

...of making myself believe that i am actually good at something, when i am not.

here i am trying to shake off this depression that has been attacking me for quite some time now. this is periodic, i know..and i should've gotten used to it by now, but what the heck...i am just human, and i can still feel...i can still get hurt...and yep, I AM HURT.

i want to go and never go back. i want to disappear and let everybody else look for me...like what i have been doing most of my so-called life. i want to forget everything about me...like what most of those people have been doing. i want to be alone, and this time be really alone...like really having nobody...and not having someone or somebody but still feel like i have none.

if i go, would you look for me? if i disappear and never go back, will you long for me? will you ever miss me? will you ever realize that you should've made the most out of those times i've been with you? or you won't even take notice that i am gone?

i feel empty...it feels like i have been drained of energy. i feel tired and restless...i am on the verge of giving up and finally letting it all go. i know that no matter what i do, and no matter how hard i try, i'd always end up getting hurt...so what's the use of trying all over again.

i am tired of picking myself up after hitting the ground...

i am tired of those empty promises...

i am tired of getting hurt...

i am tired of putting my heart on my sleeve and letting someone tear it to pieces...

(sigh)

i gotta go now...and i won't be looking back. please don't go after me (i am sure you won't anyway) and promise me that things will turn out fine, only to hurt me again. please spare me this time. i've given too much, and since you can't give me anything in return, please let me go...

thank you and goodbye.