monday blues...

i hate mondays.


just when i told myself that i'd come to work early, i was still awake at 5am. my eyes were closed but i wasn't sleeping. i can even hear the sound of my clock ticking. i probably dozed off to sleep around 7am, and stood up minutes before 9 when i was supposed to be up by 8am so i can make it around 10 in the office. as usual, i came in past 11.

and another stupid cab driver really made my day. tell me, am i really supposed to give them directions? i hate it when people talk to me when i'm not in the mood. most especially when all i want is to shut up and nab some minutes of sleep on the way to the office. the next time a cab driver asks me bout the directions, i'll probably ask him if we can just switch places and just let me drive myself. dammit. geesh, now i'm really wishing to have my own car.

and what about work? as usual...i am so pissed off. i can hardly feel being part of this team. i just wanna go home and sleep instead of hearing them go yadah yadah and yet no sensible plan of what to accomplish for the following weeks. yep, not sensible. all i get to hear is a couple of yadah yadah yadah. sometimes i just wish that all questions are answerable by either a YES or a NO. no more, no less.

i had to go to lunch by myself coz i was really pissed off. i dont want people to go asking why i'm quiet...i'm afraid that i wont be able to get hold of myself from stabbing people. i can hardly bring myself to smile. i really hate my day today!!!!

so yesterday, i just stayed at home and watched TV. early evening, i started with my Gossip Girl season 1 marathon. i can say i love the series....i am so outdated! my sister knows everything about it, and even knows the story behind the characters' real lives. maybe i am just getting really old...i let most things pass. i feel so outdated...yep, i feel so OLD!

i was eating my late lunch yesterday when my eyes got hooked on this tv show in channel 2. and boy, the story's so familiar. so damn, familiar. i cried towards the end...but it's a series, so i would probably watch it again next week and the following weeks. no matter how hard it screams "this is your effin' story, biatch!"

and so i thought, it was all coincidence. but when i went to 711 earlier to get this month's issues of my fave eyes were again caught by a topic in the mag. damn, am i being ridiculed now? i feel like everything's connected to me. pinariringgan ba ako!?


breathe, jheng. breathe.

i know it's not all about me. maybe it's all coincidence. maybe a lot of people also have the same kind of effin life that i have.

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT ME. remember that.

a long way to go before this day ends. wish me luck.


1 Response
  1. Jenina Says:

    Girl, i can feel what you're going thru. I was like that before. Worry wart, feeling left out,etc...
    Try to go to a good psychiatrist. She can help you with controlling your emotions and stress.

    p.s. you need not publish my comment. thanks