effin' tired...effin' bored...effin' knocked out of my wits.

why on earth do i worry too much? i worry about a lot of things: work, friends, family...even the environment, politics, yadah-yadah. and i know i shouldn't...well, maybe a bit. but not to the point of draining my almost-extinct . when i should be worrying about myself.

fuck. yeah, i am saying it while typing. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!


maybe i just woke up at the wrong side of the bed. it feels like this day started so wrong. everything seems to be out of placed. first, i woke up late when i was supposed to come in early to work. second, the cab driver annoyed me to death. he kept on asking me about directions...well, i know it doesn't sound so bad...but why the hell does he sound so sarcastic and full of angst? geesh, it's not my effin' fault if he's stupid with directions. i am known to talk so loud that friends would ask me if i happen to swallow a mega-phone when i was a kid, but he can't seem to hear me each time i answer his questions. so he always end up on the wrong way. and he looks at me as if it's my fault!

third, i've been trying to contact my friends about a meetup this weekend. and nobody...not even one, replied. so all this time, i was expecting our original schedule to push thru thinking that it's final. WRONG! apparently, they had a change of plans...so now that i won't be able to make it, they would need to re-sched it again so i can come. okay, do i need to feel guilty now? nope...coz i am not going.

fourth, i am sooooo pissed off with work. i try to be as useful as i can but how come i feel like i am not part of the team? my efforts are being put to waste...i'm being bypassed and i have this feeling that the client thinks that i suck with what i do.

fifth, i worry about someone who doesn't seem to care at all. ugh.


i feel like my head's going to explode. i haven't had a decent sleep in days now and i still worry about other people...about a lot of things.


i wanna sleep.

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