...i was successful in crying myself to sleep last night, that i didn't even wash my face. my head's aching so bad and i feel like i can only keep my eyes half-open because they're too sore from crying. i looked at myself in the mirror and cried all the more...feeling sorry for myself, feeling alone and scared.

(sighs)

i woke up this morning and checked my phone...i was waiting for his text "mahal, what do you want for lunch?" then his text came saying that he's there already and he's just using his friend's fone to text. i cried again. it all went back to me now...he's gone. he's there and i'm here alone.

crap.

my head's aching again...i've been crying for more than 3hrs now...straight. i know i'm being stupid, but i can't help it.

we've been together for almost 15yrs...and been together almost everyday for almost 8yrs. and now, everything have changed...and it's killing me. it's like taking away the air from you. i feel like choking and gasping for air.

i miss him. terribly.