i am not feeling well.
for days now, i feel like i have a flu.
my muscles feel sore, my eyes feel sore and i feel so effin' bloated when in fact, i haven't been eating well for days now.
i am feeling too lazy to move...to come to work...even smile.
all i want to do is to lie down, not sleep...but just lie down and do nothing.
i try to stay calm, composed and stop myself from crying each time i talk to you.
i try to act as if i'm okay, when in fact, i am not.
i want to hold you so tight and never let go
i want to be selfish and ask you not to go
now, just thinking of you leaving makes me wanna cry...
(sniff)
i came to work early tonight...
you left to have dinner with some friends.
i told you i can't join you because i am having a meeting, but the truth is, i just dont want to go and spend time with you. weird, huh!?
i dunno, maybe i want to get used to not being with you anymore.
(sigh)
past midnight, i stepped out of the office and went to starbucks.
i am not hungry, but my tummy tells me i need to eat...
then i remembered...i used to have midnight snacks like this with you. you'd visit me during my break and treat me to coffee and waffles. sometimes, you'd take me to yellow cab and make fun of me while i munch my pizza like there's no tomorrow.
now, i am eating alone...and will be eating alone for the days to come.
i miss those late night snacking...
those nasty comments you'd shoot at me when i overeat and then complain bout my weight afterwards...and i'd surely miss the flowers you bring me as a surprise for just-because occasions...and most of all, i will miss being with you.
no more pigging out on Baliwag chicken/liempo...
no more DVD marathons...
no more petty quarrels when all i want is for you to bring home some cake or icecream as a peace offering...
no more lazy weekends when we spend the entire day eating, sleeping and watching whatever's being shown on TV...
no more movie marathons (in cinema) on weekends when we'd find our eyes sore from watching 2-3 movies in one day...
no more pigging out on Baliwag chicken/liempo...
no more DVD marathons...
no more petty quarrels when all i want is for you to bring home some cake or icecream as a peace offering...
no more lazy weekends when we spend the entire day eating, sleeping and watching whatever's being shown on TV...
no more movie marathons (in cinema) on weekends when we'd find our eyes sore from watching 2-3 movies in one day...
nobody to go home to...
nobody to mess around when i just finished cleaning...
nobody to complain bout my makeup scattered around...
nobody to carry my big, heavy traincases when i go to wherever...
nobody to hold me and hug me tight and assure me that everything will be alright when i'm having a tough day, or at the brink of killing somebody who's causing me too much stress...
nobody to kiss me goodnight...
nobody to take care of me when i'd like to be treated as a baby...and nobody to baby when you are feeling sick because you were caught up in the rain (yes, you are that sickly...beh)
i'm gonna miss you, mahal...can you just not leave?
sniff....
sniff....
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