just in time...

was there ever a time in your relationship when you've asked questions like:
"how come there's no kilig anymore? it's so boring!"
"does he still love me? i can no longer feel it..."

once again, i received a forwarded email from an officemate about this. i remember getting this for the first time a few years back...and i must say, this one never fails to bring tears in my eyes.

and yep, it came just in time...

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My husband is an Accountant by profession, I love him
for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean
against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into
marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The
reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all
my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive
when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the
romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my
complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing
romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One
day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no
reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep
thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here
was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope
from him?

And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change
your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's
personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered :
"Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will
change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a
mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause
your death, will you do it for me?"

He said :" I will give you your answer
tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and
saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk
glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear,

"I would not pick that flower for you, but please
allow me to explain the reasons further.."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I
continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the
Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save
my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have
to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a
new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good
friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm
the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will
be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell
you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do
nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we
grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those
annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the
beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the
colour of flowers, just like the color of the g low on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is
someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet,
and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of
his handwriting... and as I continue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if
you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside
bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious
face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of
bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as
much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by
love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the
true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and
cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and
boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and
appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true
love stands... and that's our life... Love, not words win arguments...

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LOVE is not a feeling...but a commitment. Feelings fade, most especially as the years go by. Honestly, being in a 15-yr old relationship still makes me confused about this. There would be times when i'd feel bored, and feel like my bf is taking me for granted just because he would fail to do some things he used to do. And just like the girl in the story, i would oftentimes ask for a time-off...or would just hold myself back, just because i am thinking that he's not giving me enough.

but again, like the girl in the story...i'd realize that i am wrong... SO wrong. yep, my bf would often forget about important dates, would go out with friends instead of being with me just because i am too lazy to go out and have fun. sometimes, he would totally ignore me when i am throwing tantrums about something i just decided to complicate. and when he does that, i'd say "you are taking me for granted!" only to realize that i was the one at fault in the first place.

i tend to forget the most important thing he does for me: being with me when i need him the most, supporting me in anything i want to do, be sensible or not, just to make me happy. he may not always be there when i feel like i want him near me...but when the time comes that i am in a bad need of someone to keep me standing, he's there.

i remember the time when i wanted to do business...he gave me money to help me start...and it didn't go anywhere. i just became too lazy after sometime. last year, he knew i wanted to take up makeup classes so he gave me money for the tuition fee. a few days after, i wanted to drop out because i don't have money to buy stuff which i thought i need...though i have a lot to start with. he then asked me to meet him at the mall, and let me shop for the stuff i want...err, need. a month ago, i was again having tantrums and complained a lot about waiting endlessly for a cab to take me to work. i wanted to move somewhere near my work, and he said No. i was mad...thought he cared less for me. then he asked me to take up driving lessons because he'd be buying me a car when he gets back.

geesh...now, thinking all about these make me want to bump my head real hard against the wall. well, sometimes, all we need is a little reminder bout the good things we have in life for us to feel a lot better.

tata!

6 Responses
  1. thanks jheng... i reallly needed this! i'm actually at that point,asking "is he still crazy about me after all these years?"

    now, i understand...

    thanks!

    --denise


  2. neurochiq Says:

    gosh, it brought me to tears too! you're right, when we're surrounded by love, we get immune & we don't see the love in peaceful quiet moments...
    thanks for sharing! =,(


  3. Brunette Says:

    Hey , love that post ! Its so sweet and you are grateful to have a husband like that . Love is a such a lovely feeling but the thing about love is can we stay in it with the same person . I wish you all the best in your life and please drop by my blog

    http://despairinbrunette.blogspot.com